GUY NOIR, PRIVATE EYE

                    On some dark night, don’t be surprised to find
                    A private eye named Noir out and about,
                    Aiming to detect some deviant inclined
                   To be felonious, some lawless lout—
                   Or otherwise a damsel in distress
                   In need of rescue or protection from
                   A recreant wretch who holds her in duress
                   And boff the lights out of that lousy bum.
                   Each Saturday, on Prairie Home, we hear
                   The latest episode and escapade
                   That Garrison narrates for fun, not fear
                   In his send-up of gumshoes like Sam Spade.
                        When Keillor leaves his weekly show this year,
                        Lights out for Noir­—that guy will disappear.

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