GUY NOIR, PRIVATE EYE
On some dark night, don’t be surprised to find
A private eye named Noir out and about,
Aiming to detect some deviant inclined
To be felonious, some lawless lout—
Or otherwise a damsel in distress
In need of rescue or protection from
A recreant wretch who holds her in duress
And boff the lights out of that lousy bum.
Each Saturday, on Prairie Home, we hear
The latest episode and escapade
That Garrison narrates for fun, not fear
In his send-up of gumshoes like Sam Spade.
When Keillor leaves his weekly show this year,
Lights out for Noir—that guy will disappear.